I finally got in to see the doctor today and I am now starting a new medicinal regime....meds to help me sleep and meds to pick me up yet keep me calmed down. Turns out I might have a mood disorder, which would explain the irritability and compulsiveness I tend to feel often for no reason.
I like my therapist though, he made me feel better and he actually supported me and my church membership like he knows it is good for me.
Well gotta go sleep now!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Friday, December 18, 2009
My Name is Depression and Here is my story
I have no idea why I strated this blog, I mean how lame is it to go to some public place and just wah wah wah about how bad your life sucks? I for one seriosuly hope this is not what it turns into. I just want to let everyone see into what life with Depression is like.
I was diagnosed a few years ago with Clinical Depression and unfortunately since my life has experienced some blows that Clinical Depression went into overdrive adn became the beast of Major Depression. The best thing about this whole shebang is that on top of having depression I am also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You ever seen a bunch of LDS people? Yeah not exactly a sad looking group huh? In fact I have this theory that you could bottle the happy rolling of the members in the church and make a fortune selling it to everyone else! Now throw me into the mix and you would think I would stick out like a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, but nooooo I fit right in if you are only looking on the outside. Inside I am dying everytime I hang out with my friends or talk to them. It isn't their fault that they have got it together you know? I am broken and while I have the gospel in my life I also struggle with a lot of internal things that I know is kinda of a stumbling block to true happiness sometimes. My friends always tell me that I have Christ to look to for comfort and aid, but sometimes I want to just turn to Zoloft or Celexa to get my problems sorted out.
Who says I can't have both?
I was diagnosed a few years ago with Clinical Depression and unfortunately since my life has experienced some blows that Clinical Depression went into overdrive adn became the beast of Major Depression. The best thing about this whole shebang is that on top of having depression I am also a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. You ever seen a bunch of LDS people? Yeah not exactly a sad looking group huh? In fact I have this theory that you could bottle the happy rolling of the members in the church and make a fortune selling it to everyone else! Now throw me into the mix and you would think I would stick out like a flamingo in a flock of pigeons, but nooooo I fit right in if you are only looking on the outside. Inside I am dying everytime I hang out with my friends or talk to them. It isn't their fault that they have got it together you know? I am broken and while I have the gospel in my life I also struggle with a lot of internal things that I know is kinda of a stumbling block to true happiness sometimes. My friends always tell me that I have Christ to look to for comfort and aid, but sometimes I want to just turn to Zoloft or Celexa to get my problems sorted out.
Who says I can't have both?
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